I was afraid to trust. I thought God would make me marry someone I didn't like, or make me do things that would make people look strangely at me. Would I have to stand on a street corner and hand out tracts?
I was a born again Christian, after all. Wasn't that enough?
So I decided what was best for me. I had decided who I would marry. He wasn't interested in me that way, but I just wouldn't let go of the idea. Finally God brought someone else into my life, someone entirely unsuitable as husband material, but interesting as a friend. And it finally made me let go.
Then God's choice came and it was better than anything I could have dreamed.
In the ten years since then, I have learned that God loves me. Of course I had know that all my life, but it wasn't the same as knowing that He loves me enough that I can trust Him because He will do the very best. And I will never be disappointed.
He hath showed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8
Oh, Bobbiann, I had that fear, too! I was terrified that God would ask me to marry someone I didn't like. It was the one thing I couldn't trust him with! I needn't have worried. What he gave me is just what I want.
ReplyDeleteNow how could he know that? Almost as if he were - God. Oh. Yeah...
Your kids are sooo cute. I am amazed at your daughter's artistic "thinking outside the box" at such a young age! Someday I can see "amns" being sold for millions as her early work! (But my personal favorite is "leg".)
Hey Jen,
ReplyDeleteHow did you find my blog?!!